Pretend your having one last conversation with them.

akai 6/3/2021 05:49 pm 2176

pretend this is the last conversation your having with the person who hurt you the most, pretend I’m them, feel free to scream, cry, insult me, pretend I’m them, and you can say whatever you want to me.


here’s mine:


TW: su!c!d3

after all I did you just left? After all the hours I spent laying in bed waiting for a text back, the hours I spent checking up on you, the hours we laughed, cried, and smiled together you just left. No goodbyes or anything. Why? Just why. You know I’m so unstable and can’t handle emotions well at all, you knew I would be crying over you, and you still talk to all of my friends, you still talk to him. He hurt you didn’t he? He hurt me to. If only you had known, he pretended he was going to commit su!c!d3 after you made me leave him. But you still talk to him everyday. You look at me like I’m the one who hurt you, and maybe I did but you hurt me too, stop pretending I wasn’t there, I was, but your the one who left me. It’s not my fault. You could have at least said goodbye, I loved you.

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Jul 18, 2021 11:21 pm

CW/TW: Mentions of 5u1c1d3, neglect of the self, use of a human being for 53x

Look, I can't put it in my heart to call you an intentionally bad person. I tend to see the good in people all the time, but that leads me to being as naive as I was. I didn't realize anything that you did, and now that I have I am fucking disgusted. You have made me realize how much of a joke I seemed to you. Sure, you may say that you love me, but all you did was hurt me. I felt guilty for doing basic human things like sleeping because I always put your needs above my own. I hated my tics and only had my mental state go down further.

All I did was try to help you and you wouldnt dare help me because you only focussed on specific things. I am a person! I'm not someone you can just use for when you're bored or fucking horny and then leave them to pick up the pieces when you tell them you're gonna commit suicide. I've had panic attacks because I saw that you were trying to call me. You never cared about my triggers, but I always cared about yours. It was always about you and yknow what? I just agreed to whatever you wanted.

I agreed to whatever the fuck you wanted because I felt guilty and bad if I didnt and you would continue to ask and ask and if I didnt agree you would get upset and might try to commit again. I shouldve seen the red flags when you said you only dated pre-t trans guys, when you said you thought I was a sub and you didn't give me any explanation, when you talked to me like I was a child, when you gave me those looks when I was talking about my mental illness.

My friend compared you to a creep in the way you speak to me. I can see it. You aren't my girlfriend, you're just another person who took advantage of my loneliness. I am a vulnerable man. You never even tried using mine or our boyfriend's pronouns once. You made fun of me during a kinshift and made me have a mental breakdown during it. You have traumatized me. You always sound like you're mocking me when I'm talking about my experiences. You never apologized for yelling even though you knew it triggered me. You viewed my tics as a form of amusement, didnt you? They arent funny

All I can say is: Fuck you, go get some fucking help. I am not someone you can use, I'm not your submissive uwu boi you can use when you're horny and then get uncomfy with when I wanted to do something I thought was fun that was sexual, I am not your therapist. I thought things were getting better, but they clearly weren't. I hope you like that block button.

Jul 19, 2021 12:29 am

Tw: Manipulation, swearing, Su!c!d3

Why the fuck. We broke up 2 weeks ago and now you fucking hate me, what did i do?! I was the one who fucking texted first. You knew i was mentally unstable, YOU FUCKING KNEW. But you used me, gaslighted me, guilt tripped me and all together made me feel like shit. And yes i may have been a liar, but I couldn't help it. after 3 years of a relationship, you tell me it was fake to make sure no one else was hurt and what the fuck? You said you loved me, you said you cared, Where the fuck did that go? All that love, then you stab me in the back and date my best friend and talk about how awesome it is with them and how they're so much better than me, Like wtf. You're the reason i wanted to Commit Su!c!d3. I just want you to know you fucking suck.

And i love you.