I wish i was a man (vent)

CybrBoy 1/22/2022 03:09 am 82

If i was a man my life would be so easy omFG. I Wouldnt have to go through questioning my entire existince every time i look in a mirror. I would be free from judgement and straight disgust from my entire family. I could wear masculine clothes without having to make sure i look masculine enough. I could have short hair without being called a weirdo for having it. I could live life without crying everytime someone called me by some weird feminine name that I didnt ask for. If i was born a man i wouldnt have to go to gender therapy every week. I didnt choose to be a female so why am i so pressured to be one? If someone wanted to be a doctor not a chef, why would people want them to be a chef if they know they want to be a doctor? Why cant i just live for five minutes without my mom telling me im not feminine enough. No wonder i dont look feminine enough, its because i dont want to be feminine. Coming out was the hardest thing ive ever done and the fact that my mom sent me to therapy a day later? Its not like i want to start Testasterone and get a D rn, Im fucking 13. I have nobody to talk abt it to besides my therapist, and everytime i see him he asks me every single time my name and it makes me want to fucking kill himm. Im not going to UN trans because your stupid therapy made me realise im just a confused nieve little girl who got onto the internet. IM a fucking MAN and it wont change so stFU and let me live. I hate everything but theres nothing to do about it. I could run away but them what? Ill have nobody AND be a homless little girl begging for money untill i give up and go back home, then get scolded for hating everything. UGH why me. why cant life just be easy. Why cant i just be a happy little rich girl whos only worries are what kind of dressing i want on my salad. FUCK

4 Replies

Please log in to comment
Displaying 1-4 of 4 comments
Sort by:
Jan 22, 2022 7:12 am
@xXZ0mbi3_Gut5Xx: Tysm !! ALso, I hope things get better for you aswell!! Also, if you dont know your parents view on trans/lgbtq people you could say that like your friend is trans and see how they react! If the seem like they arent against it you could try and build up the courage to come out !! Ik its hard and you may be anxious but you should atleast try happy /pos/gen
Jan 22, 2022 7:07 am

@radkin: Tyyy ahhhhhhhhhhh!! i rlly appreciate it. big grin I hope Things will get better for you to! Alot of people that are our parents age usually think that people who are trans should wait to transition untill they are fully formed adults (even tho they r just straight up transphobic masking to seem resonable) So maybe when you are older they will let you cut your hair and transition a little atleast !! Or you could say you want your hair cut short so its easier to manage !! Or even just wait till you move out, either way i hope your parents will atleast try and understand eventually and life will get easier for you happy /gen/pos

Jan 22, 2022 6:56 am

I honestly agree so much with this and can (partially) understand how you feel. I legit can NOT come out to my parents so props to you for that, even though it made things harder. but on the plus side only 4 or 5 years till u move out? idk im trying to look on the bright side but honestly being trans in a transphobic family is hard. i hope things get better happy

-flint/tobie

Jan 22, 2022 5:58 am

I know what you mean. My therapist deadnames me constantly after telling her specifically what I want to be called. I wish I could say things would get better, i'm 14 and have been questioning my identity since 10. I came out as trans to my mom at 11 and she told me that it was the internet. 3 years later I still feel like i'm somewhat in the wrong body. I present fem and I wish I really didn't. My parents wont let me cut my hair, so it's really long. I know things are hard rn, but know that things will get better. You are a man. You are masculine and you are good enough. I still havent really even came out, I'm so scared to tell my mom and dad because they freaked out when I was 10. I was lucky enough to be able to tell my aunt abt my pronouns and gender identity, but I still havent even told her my sexuality. Like I said, things will get better. I suck at trying to communicate so hopefully this helped you some. If you ever want to rant to me more must msg me-

I hope you know, that even though idk you, that I care abt you. I'm here for you, and i'll do my best to make you feel better if you need it.