14 Replies

I'm not comfortable with getting to into this (im trying to be more open about it), but I found out I had bipolar disorder like, ten years ago. I started making kandi not because of those things, but it does help keep my mind off of things. But I don't choose to rave because I'll have a panic attack from being near so many people. So when I get shit for not raving but making kandi, it kinda gets to me, lol but I don't care. My sanity/health comes waaay before people looking down on me. My school counsler actually called me into his office one day last year because someone thought it'd be funny to tell him that I use my bracelets to cover all the times I've self harmed/tried killing myself hahahaha, ok that's not really funny but it was awkward. Yeah, I thought this comment would be short.. But you or anyone else here can message me if they need to talk about things like this.

I have a lot of bullish in my life that made me dangerously depressed. I started cutting after I cut my wrist by accident. It just felt...good. I burned myself to. And then when I was really feeling like crap I'd smash my head against the wall and claw at my face. I cut myself so bad I cut my nails to nothing so I wouldn't cut my face again. Sometimes I would act violently towards my younger siblings.something I usually would NEVER do. I began becoming paranoid and started hearing/seeing things. I would rip out my hair one by one...The funny thing is? My mom and dad didn't care. They saw me and yet they never took notice in my bleeding face or my black eye or the bruises on my arms except when I would do something to my younger siblings.Other than that I was invisible. I was alone. My Best Friend helped my control my anger and told me I needed something to keep my mind off of things. So I got into kandi, something I'd always wanted to do.I was hooked. I finally found something