[TW!!] feel free to vent here !!

Kazkinnie 3/27/2021 02:05 pm 1209

I’ll be venting here too, no judging <33 you’re safe here

12 Replies

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bvckybarnes
Member

Mar 27, 2021 3:35 pm

ok so like i want to kill myself but i dont wanna die i just wanna kill myself over and over and over like tomie i want my walls to be red ive tryed to cut my tits off before but my mom dosent have any non serated knifes i want to be live a video game charecter and resawn when i die i want to be gone and my detereating menta health is worrieng stufflike acnh gets to mentaly chalenging when my friends want to leave my island

purpleghost219
Member

Mar 27, 2021 3:03 pm

[EDIT: !TW ABLEISM ANDHARASSMENT/BULLYING!]

advice??
thank you for posting this <3

i get sensory overloads a LOT, especially triggered by sound, which makes band really hard for me but I'm (not to brag) the best of the clarinets and i LOVE playing, its a special interest of mine but it just gets so bad sometimes. and i feel so bad having to step out because i leave the rest of my section AND miss time i could be practicing, but i cant help it. whenever i get sensory overloads (not just band, any situation, and not always by sound) people spread that im a "crybaby" and im "scared of everything" and "too sensitive" and stare at me (although ive gotten used to it i still hate it, people have said that all my life so it doesnt bother me too much now tho). and the people who dont make fun of me spread that its panic attacks and say "just breath" and try to stop me from stimming or try to restrain/hold me still. I keep trying to tell everyone to stop and that its not panic attacks (although i do get those, its mostly internal for me so they dont really see it most the time) but its sensory overloads (which are normally really bad/visible for me) and that touching/hugging me makes it worse but they dont listen and even teachers/counselors/ect say its panic attacks too or say im faking for attention (when in reality attention is the last thing i want and i just want to be normal) but its not and im tired of the misinformation thats been spread all my life. im told all the time peoople know me better then ik myself, but they really dont know me at all.(im in high school btw) any advice??? (anyone can reply, just be respectful with suggestions and know they may or may not help, but im willing to try)
im scared to wear ear defenders bc i have in the past (middle/elementry) and people would take them off of me or other forms of harassment (along with other reasons but thats what bothered me the most) or ask to try them on, or get mad at me for "faking being mute" when thats not whats happening
and again tysm, i really needed to say that to someone <3
(he/they/it please)

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[TW!!] feel free to vent here !!

12 Replies

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