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My Mom -Kimya Dawson

I get really bad intrusive thoughts, so the repeated motif of people being sick or dying while you're just watching *chefs kiss**

POST PARTY DEPRESSION BY DAYS N DAZE!!!

potentially triggering stuff idk??? long ass explanation too cuz im kindaaaaa extraa x_x

edit: im prob gonna delete this, jus reveals too much shit abt me i dont want ppl to rly know but oh well

Peel the mask away, drop the masquerade, Lose the tough guy facade, The world's a scary place, everybody's afraid, Whether they'd like to admit or not, it's the truth

i always act like nobody can rly hurt me n like im sum like super awesome positive tough dude but like, idk if i need 10 energy drinks, a nap where i never wake up, or a fuckin hug at this point

Sooner or later this party gets busted, and all your friends stumble back home, But you’re the loose cannon that could never be trusted, So you’ll hide from the cops all alone again

im always losin friends no matter how nice n chill i am idk whats wrong w me, i genuinely feel alone anymore n as a slightly more extroverted person it gives me this sickening feeling

Tell me when the fire dies down, what the fuck will you do? When the man comes around, what the fuck will you do? Who's gonna be there to catch you, when your plans all fall through? When you were flyin' your white flag, who never gave up on you?

The future is terrifying, it constantly plagues my mind

Where will I be in ten years? Will I be homeless? Or buried? Or have children and be married? Or will I still be stuck standin’ right here?

i honestly dont know where tf im gonna end up, as far as im concerned, i probably wont live to be 25,, which is scary to think about, but im too indecisive n reckless for my own good

Either way it’s been a privilege to have had time to spend with my wonderful family and friends, So I’ll toast to all of you and to all that you do, You’re fuckin’ awesome, don’t you ever forget!!

no matter how often i get paranoid of bein alone or forgotten, n have that feeling that im actually hated n nobody likes me, i fuckin love these assholes even if they r jus gonna leave sumday, at least i have em by my side now <3

Build up your confidence will lead to have a breakdown, and every morning that you wake up is a let down, Find yourself a comfort or two, adjust until you're face down

ppl think that im happy n have a lotta confidence meanwhile im like telling a sob story to my wall or sum

Blackout, fucked up, just to help yourself forget, The world we live in is a terrifying place

sure do love loading my body up w substances jus so i dont have to remember the bad things *finger guns* meanwhile i cant even remember the ppl that matter (started gettin deja vu rn idfk y LMAO)

Who're gonna be the ones who are there when the rest have gone away?The ones who've turned their backs on you, they're staggerin' off the plank

genuinely curious to see who actually sticks around anymore

Come back a fuckin' cannon, blow 'em away and watch 'em sink

gonna blow sum up idfk im tired

@the_obituaries: I fucking love that song

awesome party, dude! by Sorry Mom [pros for trans fronted band :’))]

Idk just vibes. I also lost my best friend last year, we had a big fight and now we don’t talk anymore :’(( it really reminds me of how I feel about them now. Especially the “I don’t love you anymore” at the end

Fav lines:

Well it’s a cool cool party/thanks for telling me to come back to your house/that we group up in back in July/did you know that you forgot to call me on my birthday/well that’s ok/cause I don’t even know your birthday anymore

And things don’t change at all that much/you’re still wearing the same sneakers/I still smoke the same cigarettes/I guess nothings ever quite the same/but you’re still too thin and I still can’t breathe/maybe tonight I’ll leave/and I won’t come back again/I won’t come here again

And I don’t think I wanna know you anymore/and I don’t think you knew me back when I was still your creature living in your walls/and apparently sucking your fucking life away/I think I should go/I think I should go

It’s a cool, cool party/but I can’t come back again/you were everything, you’re perfect/you’re my best mosquito friend/it’s a cool, cool party/I don’t love you anymore/I don’t love you anymore

Little Talks by Of Monsters And Men

Again,,, just vibes. Like it really went wait, wait, wait for me, please hand around/I’ll see you when I fall asleep/don’t listen to a word I say

Frickin,,,, resonates

Daughter by Pearl Jam and Institutionalized by Suicidal Tendencies.

Both of these have their real meaning but just how it personally sounds to me and my meanings are different. For Daughter I take "Dont call me daughter, not fit to be" As not wanting to refereed to female or just your mother's daughter, instead you're the son.

Prefer not to the expain the last one so ill leave it as 'I wanted a pepsi" lmao