dumb vent thing

merbyler 7/1/2021 07:04 am 540

so my entire family went go karting last night, and it was super fun until we got off the track and I guess there was a guy on the track that kept bumping into my dad and my dad was fuming and started screaming at him. screaming/yelling/sudden loud noises are a huge trigger for me, and I just lost it and started panicking and fled to our car. I was sobbing and wasn’t able to breathe well. Then my entire family was in a bad mood and wanted to leave after I started panicking. I just wish I wasn’t so sensitive. Every time I think I’m getting better at this stuff I still crumble. I thought I was strong. He wasn’t even yelling at me. I’m tired of being like this, ruining things for people when it’s not even a big deal.

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Jul 1, 2021 7:25 am

I'm so sorry that happened to you, it really isn't your fault and I promise you aren't bad for being sensitive. Triggers are triggers for a reason, and while you might acknowledge that your father's yelling wasn't actually directed at you, your traumatized body and mind don't care about any of those nuances. It only cares about a perceived danger it senses, and reacts accordingly.

It is a big deal to you, and it's okay that it's a big deal to you. That deserves respect above all else, and in fact your family is the one who needs to get it together and quit treating you like a bother for the things you feel and the accommodation you need.

Jul 1, 2021 7:25 am

it's not your fault

edit - ahh i'm sorry the little face won't come up