MAJOR VENT /SRS

S0ur_K4nd1 6/1/2021 03:58 pm 560

TW ALL CAPS, MENTION OF SH, MENTION OF FOOD, MENTION OF SEWERSLIDE

I HAVE BEEN HAVING A REALLY HARD TIME AT THE MOMENT AND MY PARENTS ARE NOT HELPING. I REALLY HATE THEM SOMETIMES BECAUSE IF I WANT TO DO SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T CONFORM WITH WHAT THEY WANT (BIG OR LITTLE) THEY WILL LET ME BUT THEY WILL TRY TO GUILT ME INTO DOING WHAT THEY WANT, OR THEY WILL FLAT OUT JUST TELL ME TO, QUOTE: "AT LEAST PRETEND TO BE OK SO THAT OTHERS CAN HAVE A GOOD TIME" I MEAN GEEZ MUM IF YOU FEEL THAT WAY THEN I JUST WON'T GO BUT NOPE, I HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE THAT I KNOW WILL TRIGGER SEWERSLIDE-AL THOUGHTS.

AND SOMETIMES WHERE IM JUST NOT HUNGRY AND I DON'T EAT DINNER, MY DAD WILL GET PERSONALLY OFFENDED LIKE I'VE JUST TOLD HIM THAT I DON'T LOVE HIM, EVEN THOUGH I LITERALLY JUST DON'T WANT DINNER.

IT ALL JUST GETS TOO MUCH AND ILL SH, BUT THEN WHEN THEY FIND OUT, THEY WILL MAKE IT SEEM LIKE I'VE BETRAYED THEM IN SOME WAY. THEY WILL BLAME IT HORMONES AND JUST GO BACK TO MAKING ME FEEL TERRIBLE. I HAVE TOLD THEM THAT WHAT THEY ARE DOING IS HURTING ME BUT IT SEEMS LIKE IT GOES IN ONE EAR AND OUT THE OTHER.

I HAD A PLAN THAT AFTER I WENT TO SEE MY BEST FRIENDS PERFORMANCE THAT I WOULD COMMIT BUT THOSE PLANS ENDED UP FALL THROUGH BUT I HAVE STARTED THINK ABOUT IT AGAIN.

IT'S LIKE EVERYONE IS MOVING 50MPH WHILE IM AT 5MPH AND EVERYONE IS LEAVING ME BEHIND. I CAN'T DO ANYTHING. I CAN'T DO MY ASSIGNMENTS. I CANT MEET THE STANDARDS THAT MY PARENTS SET. AND NOW MY SOFIA MIGHT HAVE TO MOVE SCHOOLS AND YABI MIGHT HAVE TO GO TO A PSYCHIATRIC WARD AND I JUST

I JUST WANNA BE HAPPY. I JUST WANNA BE OK.

IM SORRY FOR SHARING THIS I JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST