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I don't feel like i have to label my attraction for the world, i just feel like i should be capable of understanding what i want with myself and that is what bothers me. My brain is very logical and tends to process information better if i can attach labels to it. I don't want to define myself for the world i want to define myself for me. for instance when i meet a new friend and discuss hobbies i will often associate them and label them with their favorite character/movie/t.v. show so i have a refrence point to help me remember them and remember what to bring up in conversation.

@LilyxMoo: i don't tend to hear men commenting on men's butts but men do tend to comment on mussels or i've noticed they comment on clothing or even skill sets. When i comment on a woman's features if they're a friend or acquaintances i tend to comment on their skill sets, clothing but normally only when asked unless i want said item for myself. The only item i tend to praise females for if i notice is if they've dyed/changed they're hair and i think it suits t hem better. If i find something appealing about a woman or i think a woman is attractive or cute it is something i tend to keep to myself because i do not wish to come off wrong or offend

I think finding a girlfriend and trying it might be the most effective solution however i'm somewhat nervous about that idea becausei suck at finding people but i think that if i find the right starting point it might be helpful

@KandiKaiju: i'm not in college nor am i thinking about it. I currently work for a living and after having a heafty chunk of money taken out of each paycheck to put into my 401k and companies stock plan since they match me % for % up to a select % of my net pay before taxes, paying my bills and occasionally getting something i want i'm saving my money for either a new car should my used car crap out i can get a new/er one without having to stress or going against my parents wishes and attending cooking school. I honestly don't know if i will remain with that company forever (since it's walmart probably not) but i intend on working there as long as possible, cooking school isn't cheep and if i do it i need to have a solid footing before hand since i intend on working as well but remaining full time would be the difficulty eve with my overnight hours and tendancy to only get 4-6 hours of sleep a day on work days.

I know i can be happy with the outcome of love and when it comes however it's hard dealing with family/friends/people who keep pointing out guys or girls to me depending on the person and doing the hint hint wink wink nudge nudge and not doing anything. Honestly i think my mother worries about me because i don't tend to hang out with many people or show interest in others beyond a friendship level. Every time i tell her to butt out she gets more of her overly helpful mom tenancies. I do not care what my family thinks about who i choose to love (since my grandmother is still reeling over the fact her son is dating a woman of color and last christmas i kid you not said "your grandmother (my great grandmother) would be rolling over in her grave if she saw you sating a black woman" which i know is a lie only having known her for about 10ish year before she died i'm pretty sure i'd be telling her the facts of life point blank before giving her a choice to love me for me or to say goodbye)

Honestly if i could classify my feelings it would be so much easier for me to tell people "i'm sorry but please stop suggesting (___________) to me, i like (________)" because the problem i have is busiebodies when i tell them i'm not looking for a relationship or to butt out because" i don't have the time " or " don't feel like it" they wont take no for an answer when the truth i wish i could tell them is "i don't know if i like boys or girls" but the latter would warrent many arguments or people trying to force me into the "biblical side" and i don't need people making my mind up for me i need to sort my mind out on my own but admittedly having someone/s who would be able to figuratively help pilot the plane to the destination in my head i want it to go to (that i don't know is the destination) would be helpfull (if that metaphore made any sense at all)

Hi sweetie!

Ok, so a couple things up front: I'm older (mid-20s) and a lesbian, just so you get my viewpoint.

That being said, I'd like to tell you that you actually don't have to label your attraction, idgaf what anyone else tells you. If you like girls exclusively, cool. If you like boys exclusively, cool. If you like both and you're bisexual or pansexual, that's cool. If it turns out you don't actually want to have relationships with anyone and you're asexual, that's cool. If you're not sure yet, don't worry about it! It's no one's business but yours!

Also, a fun fact: sexuality can be and often is fluid. I've dated guys in the past that I really cared about, but over time I realized I didn't love them romantically so much as I love my current girlfriend. (That being said, there are some fictional dudes I would date so hard if they were in fact real people, haha.)

You're still young, so don't feel like you need to have everything in your life categorized! It may be best right now for you to focus on things other than romance and sexuality, especially if you're going to college or considering it.

And keep this in mind: if you do fall in love, it often happens when you're not looking for it. (Personal anecdote: I had sworn off online dating, and met my girlfriend completely by accident before I fell for her four years ago. We're waiting for her to finish nursing school, then she's going to move from the east coast to the midwest so we can live together. )

Good luck, friend, and I hope you find happiness within yourself. PM me if you need to talk more.