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question about names

Magg0tS0up 4/25/2024 05:11 am 150

sooo my actual name isnt jay but its what i like to go by most of my friends irl call me by my deadname but i've introduced myself to somebody and they only know me by jay but one of my friends called me by my deadname in front of them. how to i explain to my friend that only knows me by jay that its not my actual name without making them think i go by my deadname too

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Sparkly_cheeseburgers86
Member

Apr 26, 2024 7:21 am

@Magg0tS0up: No problem, glad I could help

Magg0tS0up
Member

Apr 26, 2024 4:31 am

@Sparkly_cheeseburgers86: thats also super smart, to the poin and just stateing it how it is lol, thanks!!

Magg0tS0up
Member

Apr 26, 2024 4:30 am

@harpyqueen: true that does seem like the best thing to do, thanks!

Sparkly_cheeseburgers86
Member

Apr 25, 2024 11:36 am

say you like the name jay better and your friends just haven't gotten use to it yet

harpyqueen
Member

Apr 25, 2024 11:36 am

Tons of people use nicknames unrelated to their legal name, without it being a gender thing or getting any document offically changed

Also you don't even have to explain/justify it at all. You can just say "oh yeah [deadname] is my legal name so you may hear it used for me but I'd like for you to continue using [chosen name] for me"

Be honest about the reality of the situation but also be honest about how you feel. If you want to be called a different name and it makes you happy, who cares why?

I know it rly sucks to have your deadname brought up like that tho, good luck with smoothing it over!

Phosfate
Member

Apr 25, 2024 11:05 am

“I go by Jim these days.” “Well, come in, Jim. We’ll have cake.”

Byte_Kandi
Member

Apr 25, 2024 7:29 am

I have a similar problem. I don't like my real name and I could totally change it anytime I want, but I'm so used to my deadname. I decided that I would use a name that's close enough, but then I would have to explain to all the people that know me as my deadname