help. tw: venting and cussing

glitterandkittens 3/13/2022 01:31 pm 304

i am offically shutting down. i know people are gonna give me hate for trying to comminicate my problems to people who actually relate and give a fuck. i know this isn't a fucking therapy site but oh well. if you don't care don't read. yes i am sounding very rude right now but thats- you know what idec anymore.

i am just gonna say this is normal when my brain finds a new intrest. i become stressed and burntout. svtfoe has offically replaced encanto (which was my biggest hyperfixation) and i am not taking it very well. i love svtfoe its the change i hate. its embarresing especially because people (mainly my family) ask "well what happened to encanto"

i feel as though people have no idea what it is like to be me. thats why i post about being neurodivergent. but that is making me nervous because i feel like people (you guys) are gonna think im making it my entire personality. but in all actuality i am really ashamed of being neurodivergent. thats what i do. i pretend to be really proud of who i am, but i actually hate it. and this is also my only social media platform.

i also have no friends at my new school. none. which i love but at the same time i hate because a kid my age should have friends.

lol i am just throwing myself out there. oh well.

i am what i call a bully magnet. like i feel like i was born to be bullied.

i never knew why i was bullied. or what made me so different.

did anyone tell me i was neurodivergent? no. i was given and iep and put in "special needs" classes. did anyone explain why? no. i was forced to beleive i was just stupid because no one else gave me an answer (i think very logically and i need an answer for everything when it comes to things about me) i feel like my parents where so ashamed they didn't wanna explain why i was so different.

if you ever sit there and go "i wish i was like frog (me)" don't. being me is hell.

i know i have been posting alot and i know you guys hate it. and i am sorry.