just me ranting(?) about my best friend who I think I'm in love with

jaxsux__ 1/2/2022 04:52 am 268

I just have to get this off of my chest on a site that my crush(??) wouldn't be able to find (I don't think she's into kandi n stuffs like that) also this will be long just a warning-

So I'll just refer to her as R. anyways me n R have been friends for a while (4-5 years) and we met on roblox. we talk together everyday and she's just amazing. she's so talented and creative, she's kind, patient, funny, amazing, strong, and just gorgeous no matter how many times she denies it. we talk everyday but we don't call much but when we do i find myself just pausing to hear her voice. it's amazing having a friend like her, she supports me in every way possible.

i've also realized that the crushes and even a girlfriend i had all somewhat looked like her. maybe it's just because i have a type but the thing is i've figured out that i was demiromantic and that the crushes and girlfriend i had were only me trying to fit into the norm but with R it's somehow different? I'm someone who throws around the word love a lot, while R said that she wasn't as comfy with that but for a year or so now we've been saying 'i love you's to each other a lot. i say it a bunch to my other friends so i didn't rlly take note of it for a bit but now a smile always appears on my face whwn she texts me it. a bunch of times we get into 'arguments' about who loves who more but i digress.

now i just wanna talk about her likes cuz i think they're cute lol. she likes medieval stuffs (cool), pokemon (me n her rp it), vocaloid (if anyone knows more stuff about it especially vflower pls tell me i'd love to talk to her and listen to her talk bout it), snd drawing i may be biased but her drawings are so cute.

i still don't know if i truly have romantic feelings for her abd i'd like to be sure before i confess but that's it lol. we're planning to play roblox together and i hope we can call too because her voice brings me so much comfort. also im making a gift i could hopefully send to her? (we live a whole ocean away) im not sure my parents would allow it since it would cost a bunch but i have my hopes up. if you are wondering though i plan to give her some snacks, kandi, dried flowers (maybe) and my ambitious gifts are a plushie of her oc and a goomy (pokemon) hoodie that she'd look absolutely adorable in!

yeah that's it haha tis a very long rant? also if anyone knows how to make a good song playlist for someone please tell me, i'd love to give R one