just another vent (tw: mentions of death)

compost_in_training 12/10/2021 09:15 am 359

yesterday i stayed home from school (as you do when you cant breathe for c r a p). i went to feed our (me and my sis) hamsters. when i opened up the cage, i saw Tic Tac (my sisters hamster) but i didnt see Tsunami. i, of course, panicked because i thought she had gotten out somehow. i went to get my mom, and she helped me search for her. about and hour into searching, my mom decided to look in the cage again to see if she was hiding under the wood chips. then i got called into the kitchen (my mom was looking through the cage in there). mom had found my hamster.

she had buried herself under the wood chips and died. she was 4 years old.

the last time i held her was when i carried her to her grave. she was in the little play area in her cage and i carried her outside and i could feel her weight in there and my mom put her in the grave and i carried the play area back inside and i couldnt feel her any more and that was the last time i ever held her and shes gone and i can never hold her again

i still have her little purple hamster ball. i cant listen to her favorite song (BreakUpWithYourGirlfriendImBored (male version) without crying (i used to sing that by her cage and she always came right to the bars to listen)

it hurts so bad......

at least she didnt die alone tho...... her sister was by her side the whole time........

edit: i painted her name on the brick were using as a grave stone thingy and i think my dog knows how sad i am cuz he keeps coming up to me and hugging me.... imma cuddle him later when i get home from school