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poly relationships

natluvscats688 11/29/2021 03:12 pm 444

yall can skip this its so dumb but my friend told me I should post it on tumblr but I don't have my phone right now, so she told me to post it here because she thinks its news to people????

shes mad bc her girlfriend is trying to tell her there's only one way to have a poly relationship- and shes trying to tell me about different ways as if I haven't been in one before?????? kind of ironic for my situation tho tbh

shes saying there's at least 4 which her 4th explanation is literally just cheating but ill let yall think about that one, and the first 2 are v similar.

the first two ways she told me I agree w tho

1: being in a relationship with multiple people who are ALL dating each other

2: being in a relationship with multiple people who SOME of them are dating (using fake names for an example: jen is dating ron, caleb, mike, and kylie. Ron is dating jen, mike, but not kylie or caleb. Kylie is dating jen and caleb but not mike or ron. So some of them are not dating, but jen is dating all of them.)

3: being in a relationship where you're dating all your partners, but they're all separate and none of them are dating each other (mike dating jen, ron, caleb and kylie but jen, ron, kylie and caleb are not dating any of the others)

4: same as 3, but without having them know about each other to not cause problems... literally cheating if you're dating other people without your partner(s) knowing..

anyway sorry for wasting your time but she was sooo passionate about this- I think she needs tumblr to go vent... but she gets her phone taken more than me lmfao

edit: 4 is meant to be not telling your partner at all that you're dating someone, as to avoid conflict. it can also be getting into a relationship and not being told/not telling them that you're (they're) in a relationship... you wouldn't believe how many times that's happened to me and I just went with it because I didn't know what else to do... you have to at least tell them to start with, so they can make a proper decision or tell you how they feel about it

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carnivorousTardigrade
Member

Nov 30, 2021 5:28 pm

1-3 are definitely valid, but 4 is not becuz lack of communication

communication is definitely key in relationships, whether it be monogomous or poly :]

-nico

linkinpark
Member

Nov 30, 2021 4:57 pm

@urloverboy: yeah if that wasnt something previously discussed at all thats cheating. if anyone doesnt have explicit knowledge and consent thats where the line is drawn

linkinpark
Member

Nov 30, 2021 4:57 pm

@urloverboy: yeah if that wasnt something previously discussed at all thats cheating. if anyone doesnt have explicit knowledge and consent thats where the line is drawn

natluvscats688
Member

Nov 30, 2021 8:44 am

@P4R1S

damn im srry you've been treated like that. nd I hope you know now, that there are many ways, and they could have been cheating, depending on whether or not they told you they were already dating someone/wanting to date another person

natluvscats688
Member

Nov 30, 2021 8:42 am

@gasky: i mean in this case shes talking about not telling your partner at all, because they may not be okay w it, and I get not wanting to hear abt the other person(s) but if you don't even mention it and say that you would like to date another person, I def see that as cheating

basorexic
Member

Nov 30, 2021 7:54 am

iv always been in number 4 or whatev n it was alwaysss labelled as poly n i thought that was the only way 4 a long ass time so this threads slightly hurting my head

linkinpark
Member

Nov 30, 2021 7:47 am

the fourth is kind of tricky because while that does sound exactly like cheating, it is possible for someone to be like "im okay with my partner seeing other people, i just dont want to hear anything about the other person" but i would refer to that as open relationship and it might be considered separate from a polyam relationship idk. i kind of understand that way of thinking even though i prefer to have a friendly relationship with my partner-in-laws

if this kind of thing is being enforced by the person dating multiple people, though, and they dont let their partner get a say in it, thats super sus and def toxic at the very least

TotallyTurbo
Member

Nov 29, 2021 9:23 pm

//caps//

omg yes THANK YOU- i'm poly and people are always like "so it's one big relationhip?" then when i go to explain it they're like "ew isn't that cheating and/or unfair"

and i'm just like HHMMHNNHJMN

but yes there are multiple ways thank you for putting this out here

natluvscats688
Member

Nov 29, 2021 3:22 pm

@p1c0nj0: true, it does suck when someone assumes that. It also sucks when someone assumes you NEED multiple partners to be fufilled, it's not always the case

p1c0nj0
Member

Nov 29, 2021 3:20 pm

NAH COS IT PISSES ME OFF WHEN SOMEONE'S LIKE THERE;'S ONLY ONE WAY TA DO IT

cos likke im in a relationship w/someone who's datin people i'm not

-fukase

poly relationships

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