i need help with a friend of mine :(((

yourtommy 11/22/2021 01:00 pm 204

SO. one of my friends, who we will just call uhhhhhhh Richie bc of theyre a huge richie kinnie lol, but anyways, uh. so. they're not really a bad person per say?? uhh,, idk. we just get into fights a lot, and he clearly really dislikes me, plus according to my bf whos rly close with richie, they think that i'm not a system and that im just delusional (which isnt,, well,, wrong but still.), they always talk bad about me behind my back + he's rly good friends with my ex (which is not a issue, he can be friends with whoever the hell he wants idc), its just that my ex (who we'll call S) has said a lot of false things about me, and made me out to be a horrible person, and richie believes every word S has said about me. idk, richie just makes me uncomfy but we've been friends for years now and its rly hard to avoid them as they sit at my lunch table, we share a lot of classes with eachother, and they accused my bf of cheating on him bc of how we platonicly were married at the time but both of them are poly and their relationship was open? plus one of my rly good friends Jen is best friends with Richie. idk what to do, i rly dont like richie but it feels like i have to be friends with them???

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Jun 23, 2022 2:50 pm

As someone who had someone like that in his life, cut the person off if all else fails. If you think Richie is an approachable person, go up to him and explain why you are so uncomfortable around him. Make it clear what he is doing that is upsetting you, and try to give him the benefit of the doubt. If he turns around and yells at you and denies everything, then you should cut him off. Someone is isn't willing to examine their own behavior and how it can effect others is not someone you need in your life.


Communication is very important, and i advocate for communication before cutting anymore off. However, if you truly think this person will not hear you out on what he is doing wrong and how he is hurting you, its time to rethink the friendship.


TLDR: try to approach your friend. If he doesn't listen to you, seriously consider cutting him out of your life. You deserve to be surrounded by friends who support you and have good intentions at heart.

Jun 23, 2022 11:29 am

I hope the issue has been resolved by now, and I wish you the best of luck, but if it hasn’t if you really want to you could talk to them but honestly they seem really toxic. It’s your decision.

Nov 22, 2021 5:41 pm

omg they seem rly terrible- i wuld suggest talking 2 them abt y u dont like them and trying 2 work it out but if theyre not willing 2 try 2 like get better and not b such a jerk then just drop them. but if u feel that they deff wont listen or will just b a jerk then skip all of thiz and drop them.

Nov 22, 2021 5:26 pm

cut them out your life. Like what other commenters have said, distance yourself from them and try to tell jen that they’ve shitty. Trust me, you won’t regret having them out your life. sunglasses

Nov 22, 2021 2:10 pm

Get them out of your life asap. They're clearly a walking red flag and the longer you keep them in your life the harder it's going to be to get rid of them. Let Jen know what Richie is doing. If they're really a good friend they'll believe you and help you avoid Richie. If you sit near them in any of your classes you could ask a teacher if you could switch seats. If not you could just ignore them completely or talk shit behind their back to some of their friends if you really want to.

Nov 22, 2021 1:32 pm

drop them dude, seriously. people like this just take and drain ur energy and u shouldn’t have to deal with that. i know it’s super hard, but try to distance urself from them and gradually keep doing that bc they sound like shite