Vent /srs/neg (TW// TRANSPHOBIA/DYSPHORIA)

c0mf0rt_cr0wd 10/19/2021 06:19 pm 276

I wish I could go to take a shower without glancing at my body and getting mad at myself. I always end up crying and when people ask me what’s wrong I explain to them and they always just say I’m too young to experience it. I’ve had dysmorphia since I was 7 and I’ve had dysphoria since I was 11-12. My parents wouldn’t understand. They’re openly transphobic and homophobic. The only friends in my classes are cis. I don’t have a problem with them, since they support me and call me masculine nicknames, but I just wish I was MORE masc. I feel like I still look like a little girl. I want a binder without my parents knowing and I want my hair shorter. I also feel like my style is more fem and I need to change that,but my style also makes me happy and I feel like not as many people are staring at me 24/7. Idk. I just wish I was born in a male body. I wish I was a skinny dude

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Oct 20, 2021 4:26 pm

I understand the type of bs you're going through. I went through a point in my life where I hated every aspect of myself. What I did to get out of it was discovering a whole bunch of different styles and finding the one that would make me feel the most comfortable in my own skin. After dressing that way for a while you start to get very small feeling of confidence inside of you that gradually grows bigger the more you dress how you want. It seriously helps you develop an "I don't give a fuck what anyone says" attitude. If people tell you that you can't dress that way because it looks weird or you "don't dress for your body," who tf are they to tell you how to dress? You're not hurting anyone and you're literally just doing what makes you happy.

Also the biggest thing that you should know is that your gender identity does not relate to your gender expression. Society has made up these stereotypes of what men, women, and non-binary people should look like but it makes absolutely no sense. Your appearance does not determine your value, personality, or gender. It's a way of expressing yourself in the way that makes you comfortable.

You are not alone. There are tons of people going through the same thing and they've managed to get out of it, meaning you can too. If you ever need to vent to someone my messages are open and I'm willing to help in any way I can <3

Oct 20, 2021 4:24 pm

if you have the moeny to afford it you can buy a visa gift card with the amount of money you need and then order your binder with that. you're family wouldn't know. and if it's an issue with them checking your packages ask one of your friends if you can send it to their adress.

also please please please don't get a cheap amazon binder for safety reasons.

gc2b might take awhile to save up for, but it's worth it a million times over. your body will thank you.

Oct 20, 2021 2:54 pm

thank you to anyone who commented, I gen feel better about myself and even if my dysphoria is still haunting me I get to think about you and your nice comments/tips. Love you all ! /gen

Oct 20, 2021 2:45 pm

@V4MP1RE_GUTZZ: thank you so so so so much! I have been looking at tips and I’ve found that red grapes and bananas have a bit of testosterone in them so as soon as I go grocery shopping I’m def getting some. Ive also talked to my bc about it and I cried but he made me feel a bit better! I can’t explain to you how helpful this is./gen /pos

Oct 20, 2021 2:27 pm

wish i was a skinny dude too yo sad2

but itll be ok even if it dont seem like it now, cuz when ur 18 (or 16 if u wanna get emancipated) just up and leave, ur parents cant control u then n make u feel like this

but as of now, some stuff i do to at least cope w it is doin stuff like drawing myself even more masc, watchin videos on how to make ur voice deeper, venting to friends w permission, drinking ur favorite drink (n water, drink water bro !!), watching a comfort show/youtuber, just do whatever tf makes u happy, even if its just for a minute!

n also, i literally just rebel dude (totally not recommended tho, i only do it cuz 1. idc n 2. i wanna be homeless), mom said i cant use a binder? give a friend the money to order one, cant cut my hair short? cut it myself, wont let me hang around other dudes? sneak home w em, parents r literally so dumb and act like they know us and always act like were too young, which dont listen to that, ur not lol, they dont tell cishets theyre too young lmaooo fxckin biased, man

sorry this is rly all over the place im like, AHHHHHHHBDAVSJAKSKWKALAKSHAKAHH, rn if u know what i mean

Oct 20, 2021 7:59 am

aw bro that sucks ik how you feel i cant find a hug emoji thing but heres a little thing that looks like it wants to hug someonebear cutiebear cutie

Oct 20, 2021 6:44 am

/gen I understand that feeling, and it sucks I know, but you need to learn to love yourself despite the way you look. Your appearance doesn’t determine your gender and anyone who thinks that it does is wrong. All you can really do currently is give it time, you can’t make people understand but you can take the time to learn more about yourself and hopefully sometime in the future you’ll be able to look how you want too and be comfortable with yourself. It takes a lot of time, and it isn’t easy, but once you can be comfortable with yourself you’ll be alright. If you need to talk about something or vent my messages r open happy

Oct 19, 2021 7:42 pm

me too, man :/ every second of every day