oh. my. honking. god. /neg (cw: caps)

ghostburkinnie 6/19/2021 11:32 am 516

WHY IS SEXUALITY/GENDER SO CONFUSING???? like, i like men but I don't seem to feel any sort of attraction to cis men?? i feel attraction to trans men but the minute a cis male shows any interest in me I wanna murder them. ik i like women no matter what (cis, trans, whatever). i like girls and men but only trans men??? does that make me a lesbian?? OR IS THAT JUST TRANSPHOBIC???? then i say im trans but then i like she/her pronouns, but he/him make me super happy, same with my neos, but on the other hand, they/them make me wanna jump into lava. so, bigender?? genderfluid?? idk. can someone plz help me. (as of now im reading the Am I a Lesbian Masterdoc and its,,, kinda helping??? like, I'm leaning towards lesbian but im so so confused bc of the whole thing with trans men.)

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Jun 30, 2021 12:21 pm

you are definitely not a lesbian if you are attracted to trans men, as they are men. identifying as a lesbian while being attracted to trans men is transphobic.

on the subject of gender identity, only YOU can decide which label you want to use, or even if you don’t want to use a label. ppl cant tell you what your gender identity “sounds like” because it is UR identity. you don’t need to have everything figured out in a hurry, discovering how to describe your identity takes a lot of time. it’s easier said than done, but try not to be too stressed about it. it’ll come to you eventually!

Jun 30, 2021 11:41 am
@poggerz: thank you my guy !!
Jun 30, 2021 11:41 am

@vampskullx: i am trans

Jun 29, 2021 1:41 pm

pronouns =/= gender and being t4t is a thing, sounds to me like you're bi but pronouns are less of a tell for gender than like... calling yourself a boy/girl since guys can use she/her and vice versa. it's obviously more complicated but if you can't say "i'm a girl" without wincing or "i'm a boy" without it feeling Right or closer to Right you're probably transmasc (dysphoria and euphoria are both important in figuring out gender), if any of this is confusing lmk and i'll try to help as much as i can, not knowing your identity really sucks

Jun 29, 2021 1:21 pm

@vampskullx: they’re not cis

Jun 29, 2021 1:20 pm

uh? bi ? are you cis? if not you're t4t, if you're cis this is. a little weird idk

Jun 29, 2021 10:57 am

@ghostburkinnie: oh. why did i get dislikes on my question LMAFO

Jun 29, 2021 10:36 am

yeah I think you’re bisexual because you still like men

Jun 29, 2021 10:26 am

for the sexuality, you probably wouldn't be a lesbian if you are attracted to trans men. maybe bisexual? even if you don't like cis men, you still like more than one gender

as for the pronouns, pronouns don't always equal gender! you can use binary pronouns and still be nonbinary, use she/her and still be transmasc, use he/him and still be transfemme, etc. it's really up to you to figure out which pronouns you want to use, and once you figure out what you're comfortable with, it may help with your gender identity.

i hope that helps qwq

Jun 29, 2021 9:51 am

@_n0t_sur3_: its a doc to try and help ppl figure out if theyre a lesbian !! it talks about comphet, etc.