Coming out help

white_rabbit_alice 8/7/2016 01:44 am 768

okay let's start I'm 22 years old and a female. I currently identify as my best guess would be bisexual or lesbian. I have always viewed Love Is Love and whether I end up with a man or a woman as long as I'm happy that's all that matters to me. I have had in the past three boyfriends two of them were in high school one of them within the past two years and the last one was just a terrible terrible mistake but I would still rather forget. Needless to say my mom made an offhanded joke at one point because there was a female cashier that was for lack of a better term enamored by part of my physique or infatuated and since she made that comment I've been highly evaluating my preferences. Since that point in time I've taken up cosplay I've gone to a couple of conventions a Festival among other things.

Recently I've been playing a Cards Against Humanity clone game online called pretend you're Xyzzy and I was playing to hopefully get into the role of one of my characters I was going to cosplay only this to say that backfired night ended up role playing with a different character and now see I have a better fit for them. I met somebody on the game because of our mutual fandom and the fact that people ship these two characters hardcore. we started talking outside of the game on Tumblr and Skype then kik and then we began like sending pictures like G-rated pictures people here and we became Facebook friends recently within the past 2 or 3 months but I've developed feelings for this woman who is two years younger than me and currently in school to be an educator. We've been working on getting to know one another better and spending time together or the only way we can because she doesn't live in my state.

My problem is not coming out as lgbtqai my family has no right to judge me on that and they're fully supportive of that community in the first place. My person that gave me the sperm half of my DNA is transgender and is still married to my stepmother. My birth mother is married to her third husband and again they're supportive of me whatever I end up with as long as I'm happy, but recently I've been having issues at work.

Namely I thought a male co-worker that's interested in me but I do not reciprocate the interest obviously and everytime one of my co-workers tries nudging us I told him no because they are nudging me not him. My mother knows about this and she's been teasing me about it too because we work together.

My family as much as they love the internet and all of its many pleasures and Gifts it offers for some reason are very leery of online contact now they have no idea friending 50 million strangers for Facebook games at least if you're my step-mom, my new mom or sperm giver. They will sit there and preach to me that everybody on the Internet is just out to get me and they're out to not cause me physical harm (for the most part sometimes they say that.) get me in jail, or steal from me, or give bad life advice that's gonna kill me.

The problem that I have is a two-part problem these co-workers will not stop harassing me about this particular associate and maintaining I should date them. and to be Frank from what I've gathered a lot of them are downright hateful. And as soon as I made my choice they would instantly blow up in my face

The other issue I end up having is as of this moment in time I'm completely not really dependent on my family but we have a symbiotic relationship that is both good and bad for me. I would like to tell them I like women but I cannot think of an appropriate way to tell them because my sperm giver makes jokes all the time about how I need to bring home a woman. Because part of me thinks they will think that I'm joking the other part of me is sitting there worried.

that they'll go so you must have a woman you're interested in right tell us about her tell us what you know and I don't know how they would take the online aspect I'm just inclined to believe given their prior reactions that it would be negative and getting some of the things that they could do To me without physically harming me I'm nervous and scared because it's some point I want them to know her if we progressed further I want to get to know her without the fear of oh my God they are appearing in my room or looking at my phone.

So I guess the two questions I have are how do I get my co-workers off my back without spilling the entirety of the beans and 2 is there any good way of telling this to my parents that you can think of

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Nov 26, 2018 8:58 pm

My advice for the family part is to maybe just tell them how you feel/think and what you are worried about. You could also just ask them to stop making jokes about it saying that it makes you uncomfortable. You may want to write a script of write down points you want to talk about and you don't have to tell your whole family if you aren't ready, just do it when you feel ready. As for the co worker thing tell them to leave off and that your love life has nothing to do with them and that they need to stop being childish. Hope that helps you or anyone who reads this.

Aug 9, 2016 12:07 pm

Hello. I didn't read everything you wrote but I get the gist of everything. I have to say that my background is somewhat similar. I'm a woman in my second marriage to my wife now, and I had a husband before. If I had to label myself I would consider myself to be bi-sexual, but I agree that you love who you love and I really don't care one way or another who that person might be as long as I'm happy and treated right.

Your co-workers should just be told that your personal life is your business and not theirs. Don't treat them as "friends" at work. If you hang out after business hours, then you can nicely ask them to stay off your back. But co-workers should just be co-workers at work. I'm not saying to be a jerk but work life and home life should be two different things, and treated as such. If they're so worried about someone's love life, go tell them to watch a soap opera.

As far as your parents are concerned, I'm sure they probably already suspect/know and you just don't realize it. If they love you and are a big part of your life, then they should have already figured it out. I know my parents did. If they don't know, then just sit down and tell them how you feel. Being open and honest shows them that you trust them, and sometimes it's just best to be fully honest. Or if you want to be non-conventional, you could always throw a "I'm LGBTQAI" party! Have your friends there and make it something of a coming out event. Cake, confetti, hats, balloons, the works!

My main suggestion to you is to love who you are, even if you're not sure 100% yet. And to surround yourself with people who also love you for who you are, not who you love. Live your life and be happy! Being paranoid and scared are normal, but just don't let them get out of control.

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