7 Replies

i should not be giving advice, my silly ahh belongs in an asylum T__T

but if I were to give advice i'd say to put feelers out. I'd have my friends that are in common with his to make sure to watch for how he talks about you. Make sure they're people who aren't like ,,, obvious about it though. i've never tried it, but it sounds legit enough.

love is for the weak and pathetic. Join me and we shall both ascend beyond such trivial and unnecessary burdens that come with being human…

Jokes aside, the best advice I could personally offer is to just get close and know them. Learn their favorite movies or shows, find out what genre of music and bands they like listening, make or find them their favorite snack(after all, the best way to one’s heart is the stomach), and most importantly, learn what they do and don’t value in life. I have seen to many relationships crumble because of opposing view points on life and life goals.

Remember, don’t be a push over but don’t be afraid to put yourself out there. And if things don’t work out, it’s okay to take the L and move on with life. I have seen folks cling on to others even though it has been made very clear that a real relationship won’t happen.

May everything work out for and I hope they area total sweetheart

-sincerely, a dumb bitch that hasn’t gotten in a relationship yet…

As someone who has gone to the extremest of extremes to appease fellows of my fancy, I would advise to get your head out of the "out of my league" crap.

Now, I truly understand where you are coming from, but from my experience of trying to appease someone, it was never enough in my eyes, it was never perfect, AND nothing ever happened the way that I planned it in my head lol.

Here's what you should do to subdue the fear:

I want you to point out their flaws. You might think this sounds kind of immoral, but hear me out lol. Pay close attention to everything about this person. What they do, how they do, their facial expressions, everything.

"but ShadyLiberty, this person's so perfect, they don't have any flaws!!"

You aren't looking hard enough if you can't see flaws. Really intentionally look for things you don't agree with or like in this person. And no, this is not dehumanizing or being arrogant. This is grounding your "out of league" view. This person isn't God, after all. You don't have to feel inferior to them. They are a human just like you, and you need to start seeing them through a neutral lense, if I'm being honest.

Now, still respect these people of course, but don't hold them up so high! The key to this is to bring them down to a friend standard, really. And I mean, if you like this person so much won't you want to spend the rest of your life with them?; Wouldn't you want to have a friendship with someone that you spend all your time with?

So, the takeaway from my borderline controversial message is this: Instead of climbing so high to reach someone, pull them down to reach you.

I'm not a love doctor, but I once predicted my friend's soulmate before they met... and guess what! They're married now!

XOXOShadyLiberty

i'd say try doing things in a group setting where he's attending :0 like a club or hanging out with a shared group of friends, it puts less pressure on you to talk to him directly the entire time, but you can still get to know him. this also works with online messaging, if you can manage that :0

-eve