Personal Topic: Gender Acceptance

EdenOfTheWild 6/22/2014 01:03 pm 1154

This is rather personal, that I undertsand, but my friend needs some help and I'm not 100% with these topics. She, well excuse me he* is going away the whole summer and has just been told that during that summer break his dad is going to do everything in his power to make sure that he knows he is biologically female and to make sure that he understands that. He has made her feel like crap about being the way he is and makes him feel like a burden to him and his family. Now the only break he's getting is the fact that he still likes to cross dress to an EXTENT. I mean with styles like 'Fairy-kei' ans 'lolita' but that isn't tranditional enough.. so there really is no escape for my friend.. I'm not sure what to do to make him feel comfortable and kandi is all he's got.. So please just something to make this situation at ease?

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Dance2Forget
Member

Jul 14, 2014 5:05 pm

I'd have to say that the most important thing to do is respect how he feels. If someone asks to be called by a certain pronoun, do it. If he feels he doesn't conform to the gender assigned to him at birth, there's nothing wrong with that. It's not harmful to anyone else, so theres nothing wrong with it. Also make sure to be a friend to him. Many Trans* folk feel very alone, and even a few close, accepting friends can be a huge help.

sadmaachine
Member

Jun 22, 2014 6:07 pm

There are three options your friend essentially has: 1) Leave the home for summer break and live with an accepting friend or relative 2) Stand for who they are and their gender 3) Comply with what their father is saying only to keep him at bay. This isn't to say they should "go back to being a girl", but deceive their father so he thinks that's what they did. The first option would be the best choice, but I know not a lot of trans people have this option. The second choice is risky, seeing as the father seems to have some abusive tendencies in "forcing his child" to conform to his transphobic ideals. I mean, chill out, dude. And if the father is actually abusive, standing up for what you believe in could prove to be a danger to your health. The third option should be a last resort, and used only to keep their father at bay, so he doesn't continue to harass his kid about something that isn't his business. Best of luck with your friend! Oh P.S. There are lots of resources out there where trans people can reach out and vent to others, and receive the support that they should have. I even know of a website where mothers send videos and chat with trans kids and encourage them and act as their "mother". It's great!

memeasdfghjkl
Member

Jun 22, 2014 4:36 pm

your friend is in no way a burden, I promise. The people around him are just not as accepting as they should be as a family. As your friend gets older, his family will accept him. His lifestyle IS a little different, but that is the best part about life; people's differences are what makes life interesting and worthwhile, even if other people don't realize it. If he is comfortable with who he is then that is all that matters C:

Personal Topic: Gender Acceptance

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