aita? (semi-heavy stuff mentioned but nothing too bad)

vert1g0 9/19/2022 01:32 pm 512

(aita stands for am i the a-hole) so i have this online friend who i care about a lot, but theve been struggling a lot, and i have too. i worry about people a lot more than i should, and i found myself worrying about them constantly, so for my own mental health i cut them off. this was maybe 2 months ago. they are the same if not worse. so i guess what im asking is aita for cutting them off?

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Sep 19, 2022 2:56 pm

@vert1g0: in that case, i don't think you're the asshole. nobody is, it's a complex situation.

Sep 19, 2022 2:44 pm

Other peoples mental health is never your responsibility.

Sep 19, 2022 1:58 pm

@vert1g0: Oh that was good though, like at least you didn't just leave without saying anything and you both agreed to it so nta

Sep 19, 2022 1:57 pm

@Strawberry_BroStrider: we did talk it out, i guess i shouldve phrased that better. we did dicuss it and we agreed it would be better if i left, and that they would work on trying to get better. thing is like i said, they havent. i know that its not like a lightswitch where you can magically stop being mentally ill, but it seems in the months ive been gone, little to no progress was made. im just not sure what to do

Sep 19, 2022 1:50 pm

other people aren't your responsibility, and its understandable if you cut them off. was it an asshole move? yeah. a little bit. there might've been better ways to handle it. but that doesn't mean it was the wrong one, or that you're going to hell or anything. i think having a conversation about it would be good. if you haven't already, it might be nice to leave them with a bit more closure over why you're not interacting with them as much.

i have a habit of smothering my favorite people a bit too much, worrying about them a bit too much, thinking about them a bit too much. so i've been here before.

  • 13Killz
Sep 19, 2022 1:40 pm

kinda like they probs wou ld have been there 4u

Sep 19, 2022 1:36 pm

@Caitlynn: in the worry sense im doing much better, yeah

Sep 19, 2022 1:36 pm

personally i wouldnt say youre the a-hole because while it is normal and important to care about how your friends are doing, your mental state is also very important and it needs to be taken care of as well. helping your friends is good and all that but if its effecting your mental health negatively ya gotta know when to stop to take care of you.

so no, youre not the a-hole.

i do hope you and your friend both end up doing ok eventually :-)

Sep 19, 2022 1:35 pm

I wouldnt say you're a jerk for it, if they're the same I hope you're at least better from that cause that's better than you both being bad